


Just a 'Normal' life.

by Here_For_Some_Reason



Series: Normal-ish [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidents, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Cafes, Depression, F/F, F/M, Genderfluid Armin Arlert, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homophobic jeans mom, Jean works at a cafe, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Sneaking Out, Suicide, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10592952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Here_For_Some_Reason/pseuds/Here_For_Some_Reason
Summary: High school. The place to start over and everything changes even more drastically then it did in middleschool.And when Jean kirstein hit highschool his world dropped.He finds out about his moms homophobia when he and some of his friends came to thier cafe. And his friends were acting gay as fuck. And his mom freaked out on him in the middle of the cafe.So when jean finds out about being bisexual what is he gonna do about his mom? Fall down a staircase and land in depression. Of course.





	1. Chapter 1

Me and a few of my friends are sitting on the swings at the park. One swing has Eren with his boyfriend Armin in his lap. Err i mean i dunno. Armin came out as genderfluid when this summer began and it seems im the only one still trying to adjust. Ymir is pushing her fiance krista ( they arent officially engaged but everybody says thier married because how much they love eachother and they plan ln getting married asap. ) on a swing. Connie and sasha and playing the pockey game. More like they are having a competition against reiner and bertold to see with couple could finish 10 boxes first. Ita stupidly funny. And of course Annie and mikasa are there. They are just whispering to eachother and giggling. 

Its times like this i feel most calm and stressed at the same time. All my friends had someone. And i had no one.for now at the least.

" Are you guys excited for Freshman year!? Its only a month away now!" Armin suddenly cheered freacking me out and i jumped and nearly fell off my swing. But i did get a glimpse at a boy walking in our direction from behind us. Or atleast i think it was a boy but i didnt turn bacm around cause i didnt see a point too. 

" Eh as long as Miki is there. " Annie said before turning to kiss mikasa but they end up making out. My heart ached but i ignored it. 

" FOOOOD!" Connie and Sasha cheered before returning to thier pocky competition. Bertolt murmured something but didnt stop his game with Reiner. 

Eren just started kissing the back of Armins head. Ymir and Krista seemed to be in thier own lovey world. So i guess i should speak up. " Im excited to meet a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. " I say. My close friends were the only people who knew about my bisexuality. Even though lgbtq+ was a very normal thing in our school i just didnt have a point to tell everybody yet really. 

Suddenly i heard the crunching of sand as the figure id seen just a few moments proir walked past us to a structure about 40ish feet from our little group. He was just barely out of earshot by the time connie and sasha had beaten reiner and bertolt. They jumped up and rushed to me. 

" Jeannnnnn this is your chance!" Sasha bounced up and down. " Yeah dude ask that dude out!" Connie equally bouncy cheered a bit loudly and i swear i saw that guys eyes flicker towards us before he looked back never stopping walking.i waved my hand dismissevely at Con and Sash. I got up and started walking towards the bathrooms and would have to walk past the structure that the boy was now climbing. 

" You go Jean!" Connie and Sasha were yelling as i walked off. Again i gave them a dissmisive wave witch they mustve took as a equavelent of a thumbs up or something. Anyway. 

As i got closer i saw the boy clearer. He has short black hair and had a button up on. He sat ontop of the roof of the structure and there wasnt a easy way up there as far as i knew id only gotton up there once and it looked like the boy had just done it for the first time and id just seen him for the first time. Well my entire group as far as i knew and we were out often. So he may be knew. Whatever. 

I couldnt see him well as i passed but i swear i could FEEL Sasha and Connies distapointment. I got a drink from the water fountain and started to walk back to the group. The boy was staring at the sunset in the direction i was walking back from. Connie and Sasha were pointing at the boy and i was shaking my head until

" They seem nice. " 

I froze and looked up at the boy who was staring at Connie and Sasha. "What?" I asked him.

He literally jumped and fell about 10 feet to the ground. Guess i scared him. He mustve been talking to himself instead of me. " Are you okay? And sorry did i scare you... i thought you were talking to me. " 

He pushed himself up and brushed his pants off of sand. He looked at me and smiled. Freckles dotted his face muh like ymirs but many more. And his teeth shone. Especially with the metal brackets of braces on each tooth. " yeahhh about that. " he shrugged as he stepped closer to me. " I just moved here. Im Marco Bott. " he grinned ear to ear and stuck out his hand to me. I saw the tiny wrinkles around his eyes from his genuine smiling. 

" Im Jean Kirstein. And ive lived here forever. Hey, wanna come and hang with us. " i ask guestering to my group after i shook his hand. 

" shir. I havent got any other friends to hang out with as they all still live in Jinae. " he smiled again the sun radiant against his teeth. Sparkling and butifull. 

I walked back with Marco trailing behind me. The sand crunching beneath us. I sat back on my swing and marco sat in the one next to mine. Connie and Dasha ran into his face right away. 

" Hi im Marco Bott. I just moved here from Jinae. " he smiled before they got a word in. Reiner laughing hysterically. " Guess we finally found somebody who can get words in before Sash and Con start. " Bertl chuckled lightly beside his boyfriend. 

Sasha gave them a death stare before turning to marco. She turned to con for a moment who just nodded then sasha jumped and landed in marcos lap. He let out a slight " Eep!" Witch came out suprizingly high pitched and the entire group laughed except Con and Sash. 

" So Marco do you have a girlfriend. " Sasha said trailing her finger up his shirt and unbuttoning the top button. Connie tried to hide his smirk but couldnt because he knew his girlfriends act and h had seen it before and he knew she only loved him. 

Marco picked Sash up and then set he gently in the sand. Rebutoning his shirt he said to Sasha.

" Sorry. But im Gay. " 

A smirk spread through my face and many others of the groups faces too. If not full out smiles. Annie and Mikasa even stopped making out to smirk at Marco. 

" Well youll make a nice addition to our group then. " Ymir laughed hysterically and crazily making marco back up closer to me. I dunno if he moved towards me on purpose or cause thats the farthest direction from ymir. But i felt special anyways. 

Armin hopped up and walked over to Marco. " Whats your number. If your part of our group well need to text you. " 

With that we took marcos number and gave him ours. The sun started to distapear completely as marcos phone rang. 

"WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY. -" Marco answered quickly. In hushed hurried voices it turned out he had to go home. And as he walked away i yelled to him. 

" Marco!" 

" yeah jean? " 

" When i was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band!" I sang My Chemical Romance loud and proud as the last light of day faded away.


	2. The Boy from Jinae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theres something about this Marco kid. I dont know what but it makes me feel amazing inside. My heart speeds up and the world feels good again. And - " jeannnn" " DAMN IT BASTARD I WAS MONOLOYGIN- oh h-hey Marco!?" Well shit. 
> 
> And some math and science puns happen. Pun - up lines. 
> 
> " Jean that was bad " " i fuckin love you too bitch. " " Wat?" " NOTHIN. I REGRET NOTHING. I MEAN FUCK. BYE. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY.
> 
> And in the summary jean runs away and dies of a Marco Meltdown. Yuz.

My Alarm blared beside my ears. 

" SIND SE DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER JÄGER~" The begining of Guren No Yumiya played. I loved the song and it would always wake me up. So i slammed my alarm off and shoved my blankets away exposing my bare chest and legs as the only clothing i wore were some boxer briefs. 

My phone buzzed and i turned it on to see a text from Marco. 

From : Marco The RoBott

\- Hey wanna hang out right now. -

It confused me as it was 7 am on a sunday and the first day of school was tommorow. But of course id say yes because hed been to busy moving in a regesturing and stuff to hang out with anybody. 

To : Marco The RoBott

\- Ya fucker of course. If you plan to stop me youll fail. - 

A smimple reply came back but i couldnt help my smirking.

From: Marco The RoBott

\- :) - 

I set my phone on my bed. Well actually threw it on my bed and standing up. The doorbell rang and i flinched. My mom was at work already so id have to answer. I peeked out the window and saw nothing different. No new car i didnt reconise in the apartment parking lot. 

I lived in one of the 7 rooms on the highest level - the 3rd. I opened the door and outside Marco was standing. 

" Hey- SHIT YOUR NAKEDISH!" Marco blushed and turned away quick. I rememberd i was only wearing boxers and laughing slightly pulling him in and closing the door before posing and saying. 

" What to hot for you?" Marco giggled a bit. It was the cutest giggle ever. Even cuter than armins and his/hers was pretty fucking adorable. My old crush on him emnating in my mind for a minute before i pushed it away. She had Eren now. They wee happy together. 

" Oh my freckled jesus yes. " i saw him roll his eyes and walk closr to me i could FEEL THE SARCASM. and to add effect he reached out and ran his fingers over my baby abs. " Seeeee. Sooo hot. " i could feel the sarcasm too but also i saw his light blush and had to walk away to hide mine. 

" Fine ill put some pants and a shirt on then. " i say and he pretended to pout. But as i closed my door i peeked out at him as he stared at the hand hed rubbed on my abs. Weird gay boy. Well then again im a weird bisexual boy. So im not to different. 

I pulled some ripped jeans on amd a FOB t-shirt. Slipping on a dark red sweatshirt and a beanie i walked out of the room stepping into a pair of black converse high tops as i walked over to Marco. Then i really looked at what he was wearing. 

He wore a black and grey snap back hat. A grey button up with a black sweatshirt some black sweatpants and blue convers. Then i noticed his percings. He had his ears peirced and i wasnt shir if he had two percing holes by his lips for snake bites or if it was just freckles. 

I had percing too. But sone were hidden from my mom i also had illegal tattos. I wasnt old enough to get permanant but i did. Now i was wondering if marco saw them and if he had any.

Probably not. He seemed to good for that shit im into. I poke him cause hes laying on my couch with his eyes closed and he shifts and looks at me. " Thanks. " he murmurs smiling. 

" What for?" I look at him weirdly and he grins before swinging so he pushed himself to be sitting. He then grabs my arms stands up and throws me into a sittng position on the couch. " EH?" 

" THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES EVEN IF THAT GREAT HE TASTES LIKE YOU ONLY SWEETER ONE NIGHT YEAH AND ONE MORE - " 

There is a knock on my door and he is cut off from his obnoctiously loud but adorable singing. He must seem drunk to the neibors. And if thats my neighbors thinking that he will be in so much trouble because some religiony thing hat you cant drink on sundays or some shit.

( RANDOM AUTHOR NOTE : DONT BE OFFENDED IF THATS YOUR RELIGION. BUT IM THE YOUTUBE AND ANIME RELIGION. SO I HAVE MY OWN GODS. BUT TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO DUN KNOW JUST THINK IM ATHEIST OKAY BYE ) 

I open the door and stare at a woman with freckled and a shining smile. And dark hair. She smiled even wider as Marco walked over. 

" So this is were you ran off to eh marc?" The women smiled and i assumed it was Marcos mother. Marco laughed nervously. 

" Is this one of the boys from the park? Huh. He looks lik the Jean one you kept talking about. Your right he is cute-" " EEEP MOM!" Marco sputtered nervously and blushing like crazy. " fine fine. Ill see you boys later. " she winked at her son and walked off waving. 

Marco shut the door and slid his back against it tell he was on the floor. " Thanks. " " for the memories? " "Naw for calling me cute. " " JEAN HORSEFACE KIRSTEIN. " Marco freaked. " EREN TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT!?" he gave me a duh expression and winked. 

" But thats not the whole thing. " Marco paused and i looked at him expectantly. " I was taking a test a few days ago to find what math class id be in and we were doing angles and i told my mom a joke about you. ' Hey ae you a A N G L E ' id spell it out so it seemed like Angel with wings instead of a math angle. And then i said ' Cause your A C U T E '" 

I couldnt help but laugh. That joke was stupidly adorable. " are you copper and tellurium, cause you CuTe. " ( copper is CU and tellurium is TE element joke ) he giggles before standing up and pushing me against the wall.

"M-MARCO?" I squeak as he lift my shirt and looks down at my abs. I think. " What are you!?" He smiles. " Nice tatto. " he pokes the tatto on my side. It was a tatto of a green horse on a shield. " O-oh thanks. " I blushed as he let my shirt fall down and he stepped away. " i want that one now. " he said laughing. 

I laughed a little but i didnt know why other than his adorable laugh made me happy. Suddenly my phone went off with a gaint froup chat marcos going off onky a few mere seconds later. 

From : Con Mister General. 

\- Yo Dorks letz go to jeans cafe - 

From : Bertly the bird 

\- Jean? - 

To : Bunch o idiots. 

\- shir and the robotts with me so well be dere. - 

I put my phone away as Marco fiddled with something. " Whats up? " i ask him. " lets go " he smiles as music starts playing from the speakers of his phone. 

Then we walk to my cafe with ' Young Valcanos ' playing as we left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mileschronicles and them boxer briefs. Yuz. 
> 
> If chu didn know FOB.  
> Fall Out Boy.
> 
> The angle joke i thought up in math today. Thank you boring teachers who let me draw and not pay attention during class... and sorry but im not actually sorry. So bye. 
> 
> Young valcanos is by fob and so is thanks for the memories. Obviously theres a lot of music implamented in but whatever.


	3. The Homophobe Who Raised the Bisexual Boy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being around my mom wih my friends is always a blast. She gives us free food at the cafe always. But with my friends openly expressing thier relationships that were mostly hidden before... how will my mom react? " Jean why you stop walking. Well be late!" " Sorry Marco just thinking!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS GUYS GUYS 
> 
> I have some drawings for this book and i will post them on my deviant art so yeah. Heres a link to a pic of jean and marco from the previous chapter. http://ninjaace13.deviantart.com/art/JeanMarco-pic-for-my-book-Just-a-Normal-life-674509740

We were the first to the cafe. What a suprize. So me and Marco sat on a bench listening to music. Marco had plugged in his earbuds because he thought it would be rude to keep blaring it .so he and i sat there each with one earbud in listening to This Is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco from Marcos phone. He hummed happily along as i tried to memorize the words and find some puns from it to tell him. 

Towards the end of the song the others started showing up so we went inside. My mom smiled at my friends at first but frowned at Marco for moment before smiling. Probably cause she was trying to remember him but just decided he must by my knew friend or something. 

We sat at the biggest table and my mom walked over. " Hello Jean-Boy! And all your friends here too! Armin , eren , annie , mikasa , sasha , connie , bertolt , reiner , and eh who is this? " My friends nodded to ger as Marco stood and walked over to my mother. 

" Hello. You must be Jeans mom. Im Marco Bott. I just moved here a month ago from Jinae. " he stuck his hand out just as he had to me when we first met. But my mom smiled and hugged him instead. " Oof" Marcos breath knocked out of him by the hug of my mother.

I felt bad for him cause she hugged him for such a long time. Like she was forcing every hug i had denied her onto the new boy because he didnt know her yet. But hey i would take a hug from Marco too if i had the chance.

I mean what.

Err... nothing...

Eventually my mom let Marco go after she relized he couldnt breath. His face was so red from the lack of air he nearly fainted but i caught him. His eyes turned white for a moment before clearing up again. Huh...

My mom left to go get food amd stuff for us as it was breakfast time and we were hungry. I was atleast. Mikasa and annie were laughing at Marco and they giggled a ton. They started kissing as usual and i felt the usual pang of sadness but it cleared up as Marco ' accidently ' kicked me under the table. Ymir and krista were sharing a chair ymir with krista in her lap. Armin was in erens lap. And reiner and bertolt were holding hands. My friends are being openly gay this year a lot. And of course Sasha and Connie have arms around eachother backs. Im suprized there the only straight couple in our group so far. 

My mom walked back over while i was busy having a kicking war under the table with Marco. I didnt relize she was there until she shrieked and dropped everything. Plates and glasses smashing on impact of the floor. The whole group turned to her as her screams turned into shouts of anger. 

" FUCKING FAGGOTS GET THE HELL OUT. NO FAGS ARE ALOUD NEAR MY PERFECT LITTLE HETERO SON. GET THE FUCK OUT FAGS DIE IN HELL GO TO HELL!" 

( sorry i feel so bad to write homophobic slurs. Im sorry. But i have to to make the story work. ) 

All but me connie and sasha got up and left. Marco stood up and walked over to clean up all the shattered plate and glass. My moms face was flushed and she sat down in a chair. I felt rage boil in my skin. 

" WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SAY SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS TO MY FRIENDS JOAN!" I screamed at her usuing her real name and refusing to call her mom after what had just happened. 

" No Faggots aloud in my cafe. Or my home either. And thank you Marco dear you can come whenever you want i could even hire you here. " Mother was smiling at Marco who as we spoke was finishing cleaning up the mess. I turned to see sasha and connie leaving. I turned back to the wreched woman who i was forced to know gave birth to me. 

" Fuck off. You dont have the FUCKING RIGHT TO BE A ASSHAT TO MY FRIENDS. LGBTQ+ OR CIS AND HETERO. " 

" JEAN! You need a good influence in your life. LIKE MARCO HES SUCH A GOOD BOY I CAN TELL AND I JUST MET HIM 20 MINUTES AGO!" 

I was about to reply when Marco grabbed my arm and started walking towards the door. 

" Marco! Please knock some sence into this bitch!" I yell pulling away from him and rearing my fist back to punch my mom. But before i have a chance i am slapped hard in the face. I bleed relentlessly as the slapping sound echos and my ears ring. 

" WHAT THE FUCK BITCH. " I Scream charging at her. She slaps m again and shoves me across the floor. She reached back to slap me again. But as she reaches out to slap me Marco is there. He grasps her wrist tight and i hear it crack. " Marco honey please stay out of this. He needs to learn some DSISCIPLINE!" Marco dosn budge. 

" He needs to learn to not be stupid. And you need to learn not to abuse him. " Marcos reply is sharp and short. Joan freezes and pulls away. Marco turns to me and extends a hand. He smiles as usual. " You okay Jean?" I reach my hand out and spit blood on the floor as a reply. He nods slowly and he holds my shoulders as i walk to steady me. 

I turn towards Joan and she look at me. " Fuck off. " i say and flip her off. She hisses under her breath and Marco stops. He stops walking. I look at him and see a dark expression on his face. 

" Oh and Ms. Joan?" Marco says sweetly. " Yes Marco dear?" My mother replys in a more motherly tone then she had ever shown me. 

" Im Gay. " 

Then Marco pulled me outside as my mom started screaming and crying somthing along the lines of " NOOO MY NEW SON SWEETER THEN JEANNY BOY IS A FAGGOT. NO NO NO HE CANT BEEE!" Over and over. Marco turned to me and smiled. 

I gave him a bloody smile before learching forward to spit more blood out. I could have done it without leaning forward but i didnt want to risk getting blood on Marco. " Lets go back to my place. " Marco suggested. 

He pulled his phone out as he texted the group. I opened my phone to se the conversastion. 

From: Marco The Robott. 

\- Jean go beat by his Mom. Were heading to my place whered you guys all go?- 

From: Reiner the reindeer. 

\- My bed. With Bertolt. - 

From Bertly the bird

\- REINER!- 

From potato queen. 

\- McRonalds with Con. - 

From Miki mouse clubhouse

\- Annies. - 

From Jäger bomb

\- BEING GAYYYY - 

I put away my phone after that not wanting to see it anymore. Marco texted something before he pulled his earbuds out and gave me one. It started raining in the early morning as we walked to Marcos home listening to Everything Stays ( from adventure time ). 

After about 5 minutes we were listening to Thanks For The Memories by FOB and i relized i didnt know where he lived. 

" Marco where do you live anyways?" I asked him when i noticed we were heading in the same direction of my apartment. He giggled slightly and i blushed slightly at the adorableness. 

" Have you not noticed! I live on the 2cnd floor of the same apartment building as you." His giggle turned into a full out laugh. 

" i never knew that... but i never go on that middle floor anyway im always. On my floo or the bottome floor never imbetween. " he smiled at me. " my room is awesome come on!" The rain was still pouring on us as he ran ahead ripping his earbud out of my ear and i charged after him.


	4. The Rain and The Mistaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rain is coming down feircely and me and Marco are hanging out at his place. Shit happens and his mom assumes stuff. Its. Fucked. Up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also im working on drawing the ending scene of the last chapter. So thats comin soon.

It was a full out downpour by the time we made it to the apartments.

When we step inside and start walking up the stairs Marco stops and looks at me. " If you were a girl, id call you soceles. " he said and clntinued walking. " what?" I looked at him confused. 

" so i could say. Isawsoceles and she was acute. " it took me a moment to relize he was continueing our gay math pun war. 

I ment gay pun war

I mean. Pun war. Yes. Not gay at all...

I couldnt think of a good pun as he opened the door to the middle room. Huh. Middle room in middle floor. Easy enough to remember. Especially sence i was middle room of top floor. He lived directly under me and i never knew. 

The door swung open as he turned the know unlocked knob. Marco stepped in and the place was utterly silent. He smiled. " Great. My Mom isnt home. " i suddenly felt the urge to ask him. 

" what about your dad Marco?" 

" oh oh yeah! Hes on a buisnes trip and will be for we dont know how long. What about yours?" 

" oh. He... he left my mom and i when i was about 7. He called my mom to fat and got drunk too often. He wasnt happy. Until one day he slapped my mom. He cried and ran off saying he was sorry. I never saw him again. We didnt hear from him. Until his new wife contacted us telling us about his funeral. He had been hit by a car on a trip to Trost after he moved to apperantly Stohess. But that bastard never mattered anyway. " 

Marco gave me a solem look and a quick quiet ' sorry' before rushing away. He pushed open adoor at the end of his hallway. The door had a poster of some show about ' titans ' or somethin. I take it was his room. 

He jumped onto a bed that had a totoro face pillow and totoros body as sheets. His room was covered in video games a desk and anime and show merch. Damn such nerd. I was impressed. 

He slipped on a alchemicfox sweatshirr and smiled. " What? Suprized?" I look at him shocked probably. " eh yeah. " i saw a shelf filled with manga. I pulled the 1st of a random seiries.

" Ouran Highschool Hostclub?" I asked him questionly studying the backwards cover. It was on the oppisite side than most books but thats the cool thing about manga. I wouldnt tell him i loved that series though. Never. And i wouldnt tell him that i swear Eren has a hostclub in his basement. 

I mean what.

I know i have to enjoy what time i have here with Marco cause my moms gonna kill me when i get home. And its possible she actually will...

I put the manga back and walk over Marco. He smiles his dumb adorable smile. I mean what. Err Fuck It. Damn mind stop acting gay Marco isnt g- wait yes he is but he doesnt like you. I sit on the bed beside him and he turns on a Xbox 360 ( i would say one but game only 360 i think) he grabs 2 gutars and hands me one. 

" you okay with the 3rd gutar hero?" He smiles and i nod. " ive never played so i may or may not suck. "

About 2 hours later and me losing all but once i toss the guitar aside and sit down on his bed. " Damn. Robotts good at this game i guess. " marco starts doing the robot dance as he says in a robotic voice " no wonder i am good at technology. I am a guitar bott. " he messes around with his own name and i burst out laughing. 

He laughs and chucks a pillow at my face. I dont see it tell it hits me square in the face. I growl around a mouthfull of pillow. " you just ordered a death sentance. " i smirk charging at him with the pillow in my grasp. He shrieks like a 2 year old and takes off to the main room. And i follow suit. 

He blocks my attack with a pillow from his couch. We start hitting each other back and fourth until he starts pushing against my pillow and im forced to walk backwards. Within seconds we are back in his room chucking pillows at eachother. Eventually i hit him and he falls down so i take the pillow he was using. 

" Check. Mate. " i smirk at the boy who layd ln the floor infront of me. " You win Jean. " i smile at the way he says my name. Marco shoved me aside standing back up and walks over to a stero on his short dresser. He presses a few buttons and Obstacle by Syd Matters starts playing loudly. He starts dancing and i cant help but join in. 

" LETS SAY SUNSHINE FOR EVERYONE " He sings terribly. Or hollars. Witchever. Whatefer. Soon he jumps onto his bed and is dancing on top like a crazy 5 year old. Soon enough im gonna forget hes my age. Wait. I dont even know his age actually...

" Jean get your Horseface up here!" His happy go lucky voice bring me back and i hop on the bed dancing alongside him. " Someday we will force the obstacles!" ( i think the song says forsee obstacles but too bad. Also im working on a jeanmarco animimation of he song so ha) 

The song ends as we are still dancing happily together. The next song starts playing House of Memories by P!ATD. We both sing along and Marco takes his camera out and takes some pictures of us. The next thing he says shocks me as kinda morbid. 

" if something ever happens to me. Will i be in your house of memories?" He asks silently. " Of course! I could never forget you!" I say a little to eager. His face cheers up from the slight frown from a moment ago. 

" promise me a place. " he sings happily once again. " what bout me?" I ask teasingly. 

He blushes ever so slightly but i see it. " I promise you a place in my house of memories. " he smiles waving his phone with a picture of me smiling while mid jump of a dance. He grins adorably. I mean cutely. Errp! I mean handsomly. Yeah bros call eachother handsome right? Or is it just my gay side shoving my straight side out a window. Damn bisexuality. 

We end up just jumping up and down. Suddenly Marco flops down on his back and i do the same. I look at him slighly for a moment and see hes sweating and our hands are mere centimeters away. I move my hand towards his ever so slightly that its just barely touchting his. I see him grin even wider and he sets his hand on mine. I wrap my fingers around his hand and he grasps the fingers that i rested on his palm. 

The music was still very loud. Loud enough that we didnt hear the door open. And didnt hear Marcos mom calling for him. And didnt hear her enter the room. Until we saw her. And she saw us. 

What would you think if you were the mothr of a gay teenage boy and you came home to find your son with his friend. Both boys sweating and laying on your sons bed , hands entangled? 

Yeah. Fucking yeah. 

" Ooooooh Marco your boyfriends here!" She catcalled and Marco shot up instantly ripping his hand from mine. " MM-M-MOM! H-HES N-NOT MY BOYF-FRIEND!" Marco studdered. 

" Oh shit. " i say just standing up and walking away. Marco shuts the music off and follows. Hes blushing terribly as we walk past his mother to leave the apartment.

His moms very mature. 

Especcially because she was making kissing noises as we left. 

Yes. 

Very mature...

 

" Lets go to the cafe across the street. " Marco whispers as we walk down the silent hallway. " Alright. " i say and thats when i relized how red my face was. The rest of the walk was silent as it was just a few moments before we arrived. I ordered some milkshake and went to wait. I didnt hear what Marco ordered by the time they gave me my drink. I went and sat at a booth waiting for Marco to come over. 

He walked over with a smug look on his face. Shit whats he gonna do. He leans agiainst the post. Bext to the booth while setting his drink down witch was a mint shake. 

" Hey BREW-tiful , come here a LATTE?" He giggles as he sits down. Luckily i have a comeback for him. " BREWING up some new puns i see?" His smile makes me smile. 

Then i remember what i was gonna ask him earlier. " Hey are you ready for freshman year?" He started laughing and i was udderly confused. 

" You must be a cow at how UTTERly confused you are. But im a sophmore its my second year of highschool. " 

Thats another pun, and that mean hes one year older than me. Woah the kid whos oldr acts like hes ten years younger. Strange but cute. Err oh whatefer. 

Soon my phone goes off and its a text from a unown number. 

From : unown. 

Jean Kirstein? 

To : Unown. 

Who the fuck? 

From unown 

Bitch its satan and im calling you home. 

To unown. 

WHAT THE FUCK WHO IN HELL

Fromunown

LOL Jean its your uncle frances. 

To uncle frances

Aww fuck off. 

From UF

Jean me your aunt and cousins are coming over right now to visit you. 

To UF ( O )

Im not home Damn it 

From UFO

Go home then. 

To ufo

Im with Marco. 

From UFO

Is "Marco" a codename for your new slutty girlfriend? 

To Ufo.

Fuck off. 

I look up at marco. " Smile. " i point the camera at him and he smiles giving me a peace sign ( picture to be drawn soon ) 

" can you do one with your middle finger up. " he shakes his head. " jeannnnnn." He pouts. " i was gonna send it to Uncle Bitchenhimer because he called you my slut girlfriend. " his brow furows for a moment before just going to a nuetral face. 

Whatefer. 

To UFO

Picture

From UFO

So your slutty girlfriends a guy?

To UFO

Fuck you. Marco is my friend. 

I put my phone away and grab my milkshake. " we have to go to my place. Well i have to you can come if you want to meet Uncle Bitch. " 

He grabs his shake and follows me as we walk back across the street and up to floor three to my apartment. 

Withing 1 minute of us closing the door there is a knock and a yell " HEY NEPHEW FUCKTARD!" " Theyre here." I saw with the most unhappy and sarcastic voice i can muster so Marco can feel my hate. He sits down on my counter and sips on his halfway gone mint shake. My milkshake sits on the counter next to him. " drink it you die. " i say making the secind deah threat to him of the day. 

I yank open the door and my uncle smirks as he walks past me. His wife gives me a smug look as she carries my youngest cousin who is 8 but refuses to be anything but babied. And my oldest cousin whos a 7th grader. Hes chill i play video games with him whenever he comes over. 

" So this is your slut girlfriend. " Uncle mc fuckface says poking Marcos face. Marco looks at me with a slightly anoyed smile but a smile nonetheless. " Again Marco you can just flip him off. " Marco rolls his eyes. " I told you i wont do that Jean. " i shrug and flip my uncle off for him. My uncle replies with flipping me off with both hands witch i return to him. 

His wife opens a bag and starts drinkig a beer and giving the 8 year old a beer. Yeah theyre terrible parents. Todd ( the 8 year old ) Smiles smugly at me as he downs some of the vile alchol. Tyler ( the seventh grader ) just roles his eyes and sits on the couch turning on the tv to my netflix. 

My uncle goes back to poking Marco. Witch bugs the fuck out of me. " Knock it th fuck off already!" I yell at him pulling him away from Marco. 

" Not until he says to " uncle frances shoves me onto the floor and grabs Marco and picks him up. " Hey! L-let go of me!" Marco stuggles in my uncles grip. Marco is very stron as far as it seems but hes useless against my uncles brute stength. He is stronger than reiner and reiner is fucking jacked. 

" Let him go!" I try to pry Marco out of my uncles grasp but fail myserably.

" Fine. " he waves his family out of my apartment but continues to Carry Marco. He then turns to me hugs marco hard and throws him onto the ground. My uncles closes the door and then hes gone. " Marco!" I run over to the boy who is struggling to regain breath and his nose is bleading. 

" I*gulp*-m f-fine. " he shudders slowly breathing normal again. " Im sorry. " that was when i relized that was the first time id ever said sorry to somebody. Why? Why him? Well sorry to anybody myself. 

He pushed himself but i grabbed his hand and steaded him as he hsd for me earlier today. 

" This has been the craziest day of my life so far. " he smiled laughing slightly. " well it just gets crazier. This is normal for me. " he smiled at me.

" i should probably head home its gonna be dark soon. " he murmured like he didnt want to go yet. And i didnt want him to go yet. " but you live rjght under my place so you can just leave later right?" I hope. I really hope. 

" my mom doesnt know im here. Plus school tomodo i have to get stuff ready. Ill walk down the stairs with you to school and walk to school with you tommorow okay?" He smiled at me and i smiled back. 

" okay. But ill atleast walk you down to your apartment. "


	5. ESTER SPCIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Easter special. Thid is just a side plot that i came up with there will be more on different holidays and this does not effect story.

My eyes are groggy and my body is still mostly asleep as i wake up to the door being knocked on. I look at my clock and its about 9 am. On a sunday. Who the fuck would be there. 

I get up and drag myself to the apartment door and pull it open to reveal Marco. He looks unusually happy. 

Oh shit its easter. 

Hes wearing bunny ears, has whiskers and a bunny nose sharpied on his face , a basket of choclate eggs in his hand, and when he spins around i see he has a fake bunny tail on his ass. 

What the fuck. Then i notice he had a backpack on and its very full looking. Shit whats he planning. 

" Merry Eastermas!" He cheers while giggling. That fucking adorable giggle. I mean OH SHUT THE FUCK UP JEAN LET YOUR GAY SIDE SHOW. Fuck it. I roll my eyes at him and let him in. His hair is messy and he has his black sweatshirt on with some plain black jeans and red high-tops. Fancy. I suddenly feel underdressed in my boxer briefs. 

Marco hops over to my table. Yes he FUCKING HOPS. i cant help but laugh at him though as he sets his backpack down. " What the hell kind of Freckled Magick have you brought me Freckled Bunny?" He giggles some more and opens the backpack. 

Insid is a pair of bunny ears and a bunny tail, a white t shirt and white shorts , and a sharpie. 

Fuck. 

He turns to me smilig and plops the ears on my head. 

" Damn you. I aint wearing that. " 

" put it on or ill put it on you myself. " 

" i doubt it " i turned my head away disregaurding his threat. Because i dont honestly think hell do it. 

But then he has his arms around me dragging me over to a chair. " What the fuck Marco?!" I jump a little as he shoves me down into thr chair. 

" Told you. " he says smirking as he shoves the t-shirt onto my head and arms then shoving the shorts onto my legs. He stands me up and spins me away from him as he clips the bunny tail on. I blush violently. 

Cause he just touchted my ass. 

Accident or on purpose i dunno. 

But it was gay as fuck. 

Heh heh. 

He spins me around in his arms and starts drawing on my face in sharpie. When he stops he smiles and me giggling like crazy. 

" You so cute. " he gushes. A light blush painted his spotted cheeks. 

" You fucking suck. And im hot not cute. " 

" okay Mr. Hot as hell. " i pose jokingly and he suddenly picks me up. " MARCO! What the fuck are you doing now!?" He set me on his back where the backpack had been minutes before. He was giving me a piggy back ride. Well a bunny back ride? I groaned and reluctantly wrapped my arms around his neck as he grabbed my legs and started walking around. 

" why are you doing this. " i say leaning over his head so i can see his face. " cause its adorable. " he smirks up at me. I moan and redt my head in his soft hair. I flinch when he opens the front door and continues walking pulling the door closed with his foot. 

" What? Where are we going!?" I say looking about as he walks down the stair me still on his back. 

" Its a supprize baby bunny. " i hummed at the new nickname. It was weird shir but i cpuld learn to live wit et. 

I got a lot of weird pr distaproving looks as i rode Marco to fuck knows where. Marcos didnt seem to notice. Atleast not until someoby came over and yelled at Marco. 

" YOUNG MAN THATS INNAPROPRIATE WHAT WOULD YOUR GIRLFRIEND THINK OF YOU CARRYING THIS BOY AROUND. WHAT ABOUT YOUR GORLFROEND YOU SHOULD CARRY HER AROUND. " Marco just keep walking as that old woman yellad at him about wat his nonexsistant gorlfriend would say. 

We ended up in the park. But Marco didnt put me down still. There was a ton of little kids running around on a egg hunt. " Ready Baby Bunny?" He looked up at me and i gave him a questioning look as h hnaded me a basket. " go look. " he set me down and sat on a bench with some parents watching thier kids. I gave him a weird look and he shooed my away. 

What a fucking bastard. 

I was walking to him as i hear a woman next to him say. " Aww is that tall boy your little brother?" She asked him sweetly. " i saw you carry him here. " she smiled in a kind motherly way. 

Marco smirked at me before returning her kind smile. 

" Nope. Im just Babysitting him so i brought him here. " i blushed and kicked the ground. 

" Marco!" I squeked at him as my voice cracked. The woman laughed kindly as Marco giggled. 

" What? Go look for eggs Baby Bunny. " he smiled. I pouted but walked away as he continued to talk to the sweet old woman who looked to be about 45ish. I found quite a few eggs before i relized how stupid i looked and how many weird looks i was getting. So i walked back to Marco who was sitting there laughing with the old woman. 

" Oh hey Baby Bunny. Ready to go home?" He asked in a voice you would to a small child. I was very tempted to just out right say ' Fuck you Marco. ' but the old woman was right there and she seemed so nice and thought i was just a very tall child and i didnt want to upset her for some reason...

" Yes. " was all i said. Marco stood up and stretched. He said goodbye to the sweet woman and walked over to me. " Lets go Baby Bunny. " he said lifting me on his back again. 

 

I think i fell asleep on him as we walking back. 

 

Because one second we were walking down the street and now we are in my apartment and its dark out. I look up at hin and relize my head was on his theigh as a pillow snd he was playing video games with his feet propped on the cofee table. 

" Marco?" I look up at him and he paused the game he was playing. 

" Hey Baby Bunny. Your finally awake. " he smiled at me. " what was the point of all that?" I asked my voice heavy with sleep. 

" it was fun wasnt it ?" 

" yes...?" 

 

" That was what i wanted. Good. " 

" but why." 

" because i like it when you smile. " 

" i * yawn * like your smile to " i feel tired still and Marco turns off my xbox and carries me to my bed. " i could walk on my own. " i say midyawn. 

" Shir you could. " 

" whatefer. " 

He smiled at me and turned to leave and walked to my light. Flicking it off. 

" Goodnight Baby Bunny. " 

Then the door shut and he was gone.


	6. Damn staircases

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walking down stairs is easy. Except for Marco. " JEAN!" Awww hes blushing. Also school sucks and its only my first day. Marco got lost. " you did too. "

My alarm blairs just as i expected it too. I threw some more or less clean clothes aside last night so i had stuff to wear right away. I took a shower before anything else. Cold water felt strange but always woke me up. 

Today many people would judge me with first impressions. Probably. I wouldnt know 90 percent of people soo. What ever i wear is gonna stand out as what new peopl remember me in. 

So Panic! At The Disco shirt, ripped grey jeans , ( i started prounouncing jean the pants like jeans name ) a dark red sweatshirt and my beanie. Of course some random black shoes that were in my closet. 

I grab some pb toast bevause who the fuck eats cereal. 

I through some junk i need for school into my bag , sling it ovr my shoulder and slam the apartmrnt door behind md as i leave. 

Marco is waiting at the stairwell of floor 2. He sits on the steps doing somethin on his phone. 

From Freckle boy

Where is you?

To freckle boy

Right behind you. 

He jumps amd turns around to look at me standing a mere 3 feet away from him. " Hi Jean. " "Hi Frecklez."(frek-lez) 

He smiles and stand up playing some music from his phone. " What song is-" " If you love me let me gooooo" " this is gospel. " he answered my question by singing. 

Im starting to love his singing voice , weather it be solly or real. We started walking when Marco FUCKIN Trips and falls down the stairs. 

" very effective transport. " i lauh extending my hand out to his. He grasps my hand and pulls me down next to him. " yep. " he stands up and just books it. 

He charges out the lobby and down the street. 

" Shit Marco wait up! " i yell chasing him all the way tell he sits down out of breath. I sit next to him on a bench about 5 minutes walk away from school. 

" You ded?" He asks me his breah almost back after sitting for a minute. 

" yep. " i say imbetween panting. " i better get an A in gym for this. " he giggles again and my heart aches. Probably from all that running. We start walking again and are there soon enough.

\-----

That day was totall shit. I have no classes with my friends and my path doesnt even cross Marcos. Well except when i got lost and ended up in his class and he got lost and was late to class. But npw we are sitting on his couch , backpacks tossed aside on the floor. 

Schools never good. 

 

\---------------

 

Its been about 3 weeks sence school started and i had finally figured my schudule out and how to get to my classes more or less on time. Marco figured it out by the 3rd day ( fuck him ). 

And almost everyday Marco falls down the staircase.

He gets mad when i laugh but its honestly funny. Except for the day he hit his head and started bleeding real bad so he stayed home. And i skipped school that day to take care of him. And by take care i mean put a bandage of his head let him rest fpr like a hour and then play video games. Caring. 

Nothing exciting really has happened. Marco and i are walking down the street to some ice cream place that he was begging me to bring him too. And if i didnt hed go alone. I dont know why that worked thou...

 

Also most of our friends tease us saying we are a couple. Were not. Yetttt. DAMN YOU GAY SIDE OF BRAIN. Damn my gayness. But watefer. If he wants to date id date him. But nothing like that has happened sence a few weeks ago when he held my hand. And then his mom happened. So yeah...

" Jean. What flavlor do you want?" I look up at him as hes going to go up to the counter to get our oce creams. 

" oh err. Brithday Cake?" Marco nods smiling. I walk away to sit on a bench that hed see if he turned around. 

When he walked over and gave me a ice cream i thought of a terrible pun. " This is ICECREAMly buetiful. " 

Marco gives me a confised look. " was that supposed to be a pun. " i look up at him pouting " was it good?" He laughing at probably the expression on my face. 

" no. But your face is highlariously adorable. " he said giggling and poking me. I reply by poking tge freckles on his face. He giggles blushing slightly. Suddenly my phone rings and its my terrible mom. 

" Heyo?" I answer the phone sheepishly. 

" Jeanny Boy. " her voice is dead serious and filled with supressed rage. Not a good sign. 

" What do you want. " 

" i know the truth. I know your a fag. " 

She knowim bisexual. " Im not. Im bisexual. " my voice wavers and i see Marcos expression change. Oh yeah i forgot to tell him that. Sorry Freckled Gay. 

" I dont want to see you again. Once you are eighteen your leaving and never coming back. I hope yoj fucking die in hell. I have no son. I have no kids. " 

Then she hung up. And the weight of my world crumbling started falling on me. 

" Your bisexual. " marco mutters confused. " sorry i forgot to tell you mr. Freckly gay. " he chuckled slightly at the silly little nickname id just given him. 

" its... alright. " he goes silent for a while after that. Barely eating his ice cream anymorr and it started melting. " do you want to go?" I ask him. He just stand up throws away his melted ice cream and starts walking down the street back to the apartments. 

I shrug. 

This boy shir can be strange. 

I follow him quickly to catch up with him. I poke him so hed look at me " Why so silent. " i continue to poke him. 

" Remember how i ssid i was gay. " Yeah i shir remembered. I nod slowly. What if he really wasnt. " your bisexual. " i nod again. He stopd talking as we walk up to my aparment. It wasnt mine but my moms now i was just stuck there until i was old enough then im kicked out. 

" Yeah?" I ask pushing him to go on. Instead of saying he just hugs me. A loving hug not like a friendly hug. 

" Marco?" 

" I like you Jean. " 

I freeze. The part of me thats gay reaches out to him to keep him here. The gay part of me thats always loved him. The straight part of me is screaming " NO HOMO " and is trying to push him away. 

" I - li-ke e-u. Toi. " the words come out jumbled and strange but i think he got what i ment. In case he didnt...

I lean up in his arms and kiss his nose. He higgles blushing and kisses my lips. I kiss back and force myself not to have a panic attack or something cause i felt it could happen. 

The amazingest and scariest moment ever. Eventually i pull away and we let go of eachother. Before he picks me up and puts me into a piggy back ride. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts my legs. He walk around like that until i kiss his head and lay my face against his soft hair. 

" Your hair is so soft..." i murmur poking at a cowlick in his hair. He laugh softly 

" Jean. Will you be my boyfriend. " 

" Marco i will be your boyfriend. If youll be my slutty girlfriend. " i joke about uncle mcbitch. 

He sets me on the couch and pretends to lift his shirt off. I laugh and chuck a pillow at him. " fine ill accept you as my stupid boyfriend. " i laugh and he tickles me. 

" your the stupid boyfriend. " i cant stop laughing but i nod so he will stop. He moves away as i catch my breath. He sits on ny couch and i sit there next to him. We turn on the tv and everything is okay. 

 

\---------------

Marco is sick today. We started dating last night and now hes to sick to go to school. And im to loving to go to school. I sit on the end of his bed as he slowly wakes up. " Mornin Sick gay boy. " he jumps snd hides under his blanket. 

I laugh. " Please get out of my room for a minute. " he whispers. 

" Why do you sleep Naked or something. " i laugh and he blushes slightly. 

" n-no but im only wearing boxer briefs. " i laugh. " yiu have shown up at my house before we started dating and i was just in my boxer briefs. " he sighed and stood up. He was wearing white boxer breifd that had little red hearts on it ( yus sims clothing i thought it was funny. Shut up. ) 

Marco walked over to his dresser and pulled a few things out. 

" okay you have to get out now. I need to change. " i sigh. " nope. " and i lay down on his bed. 

" Damn you Jean. " he says walking over and kissing my forhead before going and changing in the bathroom. He comes back a minute or 2 later. 

" you okay frecklez?" 

" Naw. I feel terrible. " i moved aside so he could lay down next to me. He did and i wrapped arms around his strong figure. " you want soup or somethin?" He nods his eyes drifing closed. 

I let go of him and got up. " kay ill be back frecklez. " i kiss a few of his freckles on his face before leaving. 

I have to walk all the way to the soup place 20 mintes away. I get him some plain noodle soup and start heading back. I hope its not to cold by the time i get back.

\--

I hear sirens and firetrucks flash past me as i walk around the corner tovthe street where the apartment is. And then i see it. 

The Aparment buildings on fire. 

And Marco is sick and asleep inside.


	7. The end of his 'normal' life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The apartment is gone. Everything is gone. Time is still and the hospital waiting room is silent as my tears fall. 
> 
> This cant be the end.
> 
> Its still the beggining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No this is not the actual end of the book just so ya know.
> 
> Also sorry this took so long. I had it part done and i went home sick on friday from school. So yeah i didnt feel like writing.

My heart stops and i charge forward setting the soup bag down in the grass outside as i charge into the fires. 

" Hey!" A fireman grabs me and stops me when im only inches away from the lobby doors. 

" Let me go!" I scream shoving him. " you cant go in there. " he said calmly yet rushed. 

" Watch me. " i manage to shove him away and harge inside. " MARCO!" I scream climbing the stairs to the 2cnd floor. The lobby had all the fire so thease level were fine for maybe a few minutes before it wiuld be totally engulfed in flames. 

" Mar*coughing*Co!" I break the door to his apartment and run in to see him throwing up in his bathroom. The smoke is infesting the hall and into the apartment. 

I rush to the vomiting boy and grab his shoulders. When he stops he looks up and me and smiles lightly. " soup?" He asks coughing. I run sink water and pour it in his mouth and he spits. 

" Marco. " i cough. " We need to go now. The fire is bad. " i say rushing to his room and throwing some of his stuff in a bag and tossing onto my shoulders. I grab his arms and lead him out. 

The stairs going downstairs and coved in flames. The only option is up. I drag him upstair and grab a bag from my room before climbing to the roof. Fire is reahig the roof and me and marco are standing on top. 

The only thing on my mind is help marco. The fire is behind us and the stupid firefighters have nothing to catch us with yet. 

I turn Marco to me. 

" Dont scream. " he nods before his eyes roll back and he passes out. That works i guess. I hug him ight to my body and jump. 

My head hits the ground and everything goes black. 

 

\----

 

I wake up in a hospital bed. My head is bandaged and my leg is elevated. But instead of wondering how bad everything was i only wondered if marco was okay. I needed him to be okay. 

I see some crutches beside my bed and grab them. My leg hurts as i lift it up. It was is a cst atleast. I shofted my weight onto the crutches and walked out of the room. I attemped to get off the stupid gown and failed. Damn it fuckin damn it 

I walk up to the people at the front desk on the level im at. 

" Hello. " I say. A woman with orangeish hair looks at me and flinches. 

" Jean Kirstein! You should be in your room resting after that fire. " She says. 

" Wat. No wait. Where is Marco?!" I ask. I notice she has a tag that says Petra. Wait isnt that the school nurse, so she works here on weekends? Or atleast i think its a weekend.

" Marco Bott? The boy you jumped off the roof with?" I nod my head vigorisly. She gives me a sad smile and shows me to the ER waiting room. 

" What!?" I look at her and her worried face filled with sadness. 

" He didnt do so well with him being sick, all that smoke, and the fall. Although you got most of the face part of his body is badly bruised and bleeding. " ( you can guess the injured area. ) 

I nod silently and she goes to the counter then comes back to me and has me and marcos backpacks. She helps me put on a pair of shorts and i put on a t shirt on my own. She does the discharge papers for me and i sit in the ER room waiting and hoping. 

Petra has to go back to the front. But she says shell check on me later , and if i need it she could let me stay at her house for a while until the building is repaired. I thanked her and sat silently. 

My heart was hurting more than the rest of my numb body. I rested my head in my hands and slowly drifted into a unconsious state. 

\----

 

I wake up to see Petra standing before me. " Jean , Marcos gone. " 

I jump up and hurt my leg as it cracks loudly. I start crying. Marco cant be gone. 

" Shit i worded that wrong. I mean hes gone from ER. Hes in a regular room now, we can go visit him in the morning, for now you can come and rest on my couch ill bring you back tommorow. " she said grabbing the crutches for me. I wipe my tears and nod. 

\----

 

Petras couch is a velvety material. Its comfortable at least. My head lays on a soft pillow and i thijk about Marco. 

What if he died? What would i do then...

No. Hes okay. Ill see him tommorow. I know it. 

I think of his lips on mine. We had just begun our lives together it seemed. Yesturday was one of the happiest days and today was one of the crappiest days. 

My mind drifted to my dumb mom. Did she think i was dead? Thats fine. I wouldnt mind never seeing her again. 

 

But if my death became a public thing even if im alive would...

 

Would Dad see it? 

If hes even anyplace close? 

Would he come back to go to my funeral? 

Would i be there alive, and would he tell me the truth of why he left? 

 

\- Flashback -

 

Im walking home with my dad after another day of kindergarden. Dad looks sad today, but why? He kneels down infront of me with tears in his eyes. 

" Jean bud hey. " " dad whats wrong. " 

" Your mom and i we, were not , we dont , err... your mom and i are divorcing, meaning we wont be married and together anymore. And im leaving tonight. I went to court to try and get custody of you , meaning youd come live with me but i lost. So youll be staying with your mom and ill be leaving. You understand right bud?" 

I gave him a teary smile.

" why dont you and mom love no more?" 

He stood up and put me on his shoulders i squeled with joy. 

" That you wouldnt understand yet. Just know everybody loves different people. No matter what they are. " 

 

...

 

The skies were sunny and blue. Not like in the movies when it would be dark and rainy. Mom was throwing dads stuff out into the yard. And dad was packing hos minivan with items. 

He was crying as he waved to me and got in his car. He then drove off. 

\- flashback end. - 

 

I havent seen him sence that day...

No no. I wont think like that. Not anymore. I havent thought like that sence 6th grade. When i first attemtepted suicide. My friends found me and saved me. I hated them for it for months but know im the most grateful peace of shit because i met Marco because hey saved me. I really need to thank them. 

With my mind closer to ease i fell into a slightly tense sleep. 

 

\----

 

" Jean, Get up we are leaving in 20 minutes. " 

I look up from a bowl of Capn crunch at Petra. She just came out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth. 

" alright. " i mumble not really able to finish the bowl of cereal before me i throw it away and put my shoe on. Petra comes back and grabs her purse and keys. We walk out to her shining silver car. 

She slides in the drivers seat with me in shotgun. 

 

As the car lurchs forward my mind wanders from the calming jazz musi Petra is playing. 

 

\- flash back - 

" Jean come on we are gonna be so late!" Marco yells still smiling. I run down the hall to him because id gotton up later than usual and he was early for once. 

" Shit fuck i know!" We ran down the stairs and Marco tripped. 

" Huh Marco you okay?" I ask offering him my hand. He grabs my hand while the other flies to his face. His smile faulters to a frown as he pulls his hand away from his face and it is stained red. He looks at me and theres a small cut above his eye. 

" Eh Yeah a littly bloody but okay!" His mouth shifts back to a slightly forced smile. I quickly ran upstair to my place and got him a bandaid before we dashed to school just barely making the late bell. 

\- back flash. - 

I still remember the feeling of pressing the bandaid to his head and he had hugged me slightly.

My heart started racing as we pulled into the hospital parking lot. 

Petra wordlessly guided me to a room on the 7th floor. Marked with his name. " Marco Bott. Age 16. " i gave a quick thank you to Petra who nodded smiled and waved asshe walked back down to the office to begin her shift offically. 

I sighed and gently opened the door. I imeddiatly listened to the beeping of machines and i listened for the heart rate monitor. 

" Hello?" Marcos voice called softly. " Doctor Hanji is that you?" His weak voice echoed softly. 

" Guess again." I said hiding behind the half closed curtain around his bed so he couldnt see me it also ment i couldnt se him.

" Soup boy. " he giggles ever so slightly. I pull the curtain back and walk to the boy. Im suprized because the first thing i notice is his bare freckled chest. He wasnt wearing a hospital gown. Weird... 

Then i saw the burn marks and scars. 

Stretching from his right hip all the way up hlf his head and scourching the right side of his face. His entire arm was engulfed in burns to. 

I gently touched his scarred hand and he winced before pointing to my leg. " Seems i got the worst of it. Selfish!" He said laughing. 

" S-sorry! I tried my hardest to keep you from getting hurt I-! " he cut my off with his laughing. " I was just kidding. I know you wouldnt try to help me. Also. Were is my soup?" He pouts with a caring smirk in his eyes. 

" Oops i left it in the yard. " i say kissing his partially scourged lips. He giggled beneath his pain and kissed me back. 

" Guess the normal you had grown accustomed to is gone. " 

"Heh. No more normal life. Its a renissance for us babe. " 

Hes right. Its pur new start. Our rennisance. That was the end of his 'normal' life. But its the beggining of our strange life. 

" Our normalish life. " i smiled holding his good hand. Then the door opened to reveal my mother. Shit. 

 

" Jeanny-boy! Are you here! Nurse Petra said you were.." 

Her eyes fell to me and Marcos intertwined hands. Her face turned vile amd revolting. 

 

" Jean. What are you doing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes it took me like a week to update and i leave with a cliffhanger. 
> 
> Hey the chapter was long atleast!


	8. No more roof to stay under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the apartment building under repair the families that love there will have to find somewhere else to stay. Atleast Marcos okay. " Jean" "what- MFFF" * Voice is muffled by marcos lips. *

I stayed at Petras about 3 more days until Marco was released from the hospital. He was unstable on his feet at first and fell a few times before he got the hang of walking. The dting of his legs being alseep for days was setting in. And it was hi-fucking-larious to hear his occasional adorable squel as a sting came from his legs hitting something or putting to much weight on one to quick. 

 

But as soon as i left Petras with Marcos hand intertwining mine ( that was also rapped around a cruch handle i may add. Marco didnt mind. ) i relized something with a sudden " Fuck!" 

Marco turned to me shaply as the word came burstomg put of my mouth. " Jean? What is it!?" His eyes went wide before calming slightly. 

" Where is everybody going to live until the apartments are rebuilt?" I ask more to myself than Marco. 

" Yeesh, its not like we could stay with Petra that would be taking her kindness to far even if she offred. You could probably stay in the upstairs of that cafe you guys own and my moms probably found someplace and rented it out for us..." 

Marco trailed off and turned his head down. I poked his cheek softly.

My mind flashed to in the hospital room just days before. 

\- flashback. Also the cliffhanger answer. -

" Jean what are you doing. " my moms scowl and death glare at me and Marcos intertwined hands made me feel like lazers were being shot through my hand. 

" What? Can i not reassure my best friend when hes in fucking pain!" I shout and i see a flash of hurt spin through Marcos face before he covered it with a fakely pained smile. He knew how my mom got and he couldnt help me if things got rough. 

" Jean! Others could have headaches dont be so loud and watch your words!" She screamed back much louder than i had shouted. 

" Grrr. " i bit my tounge to keep from starting a fight here and now. That wouldnt help Marco and it sure as fuck wouldnt help my broken leg and probable hesd damage.

I stepped back and away from the potential fight hat had been brewing. " Let go of that boys hand. Marco, i love you but dont turn my baby boy gay, dont make him a faggot like you. " with that she flipped her haur and walked iut of the room. 

I sat down on the edge of the hospital bed and Marco kissed my hand with burnt lips. 

\- back to know brought to you by terrible mothering. - 

 

" what if we stay together.. " i murmured to him not really to him as much as myself though.

I watched his face as he mustve thought abut the day in the hospital room too. " Y-yeah. You could stay with my mom and i.." his freckled face errupted into a light pink. 

I kissed his scarred lips lightly. He didnt complain about it hurting and didnt wince anymore. He deepend the kiss instead. I then pulled back sharply. 

" We need to be farther away from everybody, i cant have anybody who might know my mom know. Or atleast anybody whod tell her " 

A pained expression showed before he nodded. He then pulled out his phone from his pocket. He typed in his code and put the phone to his ear. 

" Hey Mom. " he said. 

" Yeah i just got out of the hospital. "

" no no it doesnt hurt. "

" did you get a place for us to stay untl the apartmrnts are rebuild?" 

" awesome! How many rooms?" 

 

" could Jean stay with us?" I blushed as he said that. 

" Mom!" I heard slight laughter coming from the phone as marcos freckled face erupted to a light pink once more. 

" Yeah... yeah. " 

 

" alright were on our way. See ya soon. "

" love you too bye. " 

 

He hung up and turned to me. " Guess whos living with the Gay boy!" He smiled doing jazz hands as i burst into laughter. 

" guess who is likes the gay boy!" I ssy repeating his jazz hands. He giggled a reply. " huh , Armin?" I lauhed. " That kids in live with a gay boy. But not the gay boy im talkin about. " 

" Reiner?" 

" guess again... also Bertlolt is Pan hes not a gay boy. " 

" close enough. Maybe is it i dunno the famous. Jean Kirschtein!?" He giggled as i posed like i was famous and posing for paparatzi. 

" The one and only. " 

I grab my crutchs handle tightly again and we stsrt walking towards the place in witch wed be staying with Marcos mom. 

Marcos phone starts ringing. 

" Ring ring ring. Ring Ring Ring. RING RING RRIIIINNNGGG!" ( that is the ringtone from bedtime stories XD i love that movie )

I laugh as people turn and give him strange looks. But i stop when i see thier looks of horror when they she his scarched skin. 

He doesnt notice , luckily , because he pulls his phone out and answeres it. 

" Hello? " 

" okay ill ask him. " Marco pulled the phone away a little and looked at me. " My mom is goin to the store, want anything. " i shake my head no and he puts the phone back against his face. 

" Cake batter. " i look at him and hes smiling. 

" thats all , see ya soon. " 

He puts hhis phone away and keeps smiling. 

" Whats the cake batter for?" I asked him , rasing an eyebrow. He just keeps smiling. So i poke his freckled face quickly before grabbing ahold of my crutch before i fell. 

He giggled a little but said nothing. What a adorably evil little bastard.

\----

 

We arrive at a crumbling building. Cracks cover the walls of the 5ish story building.

" Lets go shall we?" I do a little curtsy , picking my crutches up and nearly falling over in the process. But my knight in burnt armor saved me. 

" Your chariot awaits. " he says grabbing one of my crutches and flinging my arms around him and his arm around me. He then acted as if i need his help to walk and not cruct hes , granted those crutches were making my arms ache. 

I chuckled slightly as it took about 5 minutes to get to the 4th level by walking up the stairs. It was a old building so there were no elevators sadly. 

Atleast the apartment was the 1st one. Closest to the stairs we had taken. ( my keybpard just switched to german for a moment. I dunno why. But... SIND SE DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER JÄGER! ) 

Marco suddenly breathed slowly. " Crap... " i let go of him taking my crutch back amd looking at him. " Hmm?" He pointd at the lock. " We dun have they keys. My mom has them and shes not home. Unless.." he knocks lightly on the door. No answer. " Nope. So we gotta wait out here tell your moms back?" I asked. 

" i guess so..." He sar down next to the door and lowered me down to sit beside him without hurtig me. 

As we sat my eyes were starting to droop when a old lady came over by us ftom her aparent a few doors down. She gasped amd shrieked when she saw us. But she wasnt staing at the fact i was leaning on Marcos good shoulder. 

She was staring at Marcos scarred face and arm. " Ma'am?" Marco whispered to the old woman softly. The woman backed away as Marco started to stand. 

" Stay away ugly beast!" She screamed and hit Marco qiare in the jaw with her bag before quickly suffling down the steps. Marco craed to me as he had been knocked to the ground on impact pf the bag. 

" am i really a ugly beast?" He asked softly plqying with my hair. " you must be the cutest igly beast then. And that aint possible because you ae to cute. So no your not a ugly beast. " he smiled until a woman came up the stairs sweating. 

She wore a uniform that mustve mebt she worked here. Behind her the old lady arrived. Shit. 

" That , that thing! Tried tried t-to shake m-my my hand!" She screached pointing at Marco. Who was laying on his injured side facing towards me. He went to turn but i stopped him.

" Ma'am calm down. Its just two boys theres nothing to be afraid of." The apartment worker was trying to calm down the old lady. " NO LOOK AT HIS DISFIGURED HORRIFYING FACE!" The old lady screamed louder pointing at Marco. 

Marcos face dropped as he pushed away from me so he could turn to the two women. 

The woman who worked here froze before tears glinted her eyes. 

" Ma'am you need to calm down or leave. " the woman said angerly. The old woman complained but walked away down the stairs anyways. The staff member walked over to Marco snd me.

" Are you the boys from the news?" She asked mainly flicking her eyes to Marcos scars and my leg. 

" What?" 

" The news talked about a apartment building that had burned down and as it was bursting and collapsing a boy ran in to save his brother. Or thats how the news said they may be brothers. The ended up jumping off the roof. One sick and burned , the other broken limbed and head damaged. Both unconsious as they hit the ground. " 

" Boyfriend. " Marco muttered. 

" huh?" The woman turned to look at him. 

" It was his boyfriend. Not his brother. " Marco said smiling lightly. 

( Random comment: im going to a animeconvention in about a month ( animineoplis if you care ) and im going as Marco, except the part he lost i have titan makup on so ill be part titan mostly human marco. Reason why i bring it up now is im wearing the titan makeup while i write this. Your welcome XD)

" Oh. Thats adorable. " she smiles. " I have a girlfriend at home , and i take that as yes you where those two boys. " 

" Yep. Im Jean the idiot who ran into the burning building. Amd thats my boyfriend Marco , the dummy who was busy being sick so we werent at school. " 

" if you dont mind telling a story, Jean , why werent you there if you werent at school?" 

" I was buying my sick little boy some soup. " 

" Im a year older than you.." i hear Marco grumble softly. 

" Im Nanaba. I have to go back to front desk now, but itll be nice to have you two around for however long you stay. Bye boys!" The short haired girl walked off and back downstairs. Marco waved as she walked off and his mom came up the stairs a minute or so after Nanaba was gone. 

" Hey boys- oh my irene! I forgot you guys didnt have a key sorry, how long did you wait?" 

" not long, it wasnt a problem its fine. " Marco said dismissivly waving his hands. I nodded in agreement even if it had been like half an hour. She opened the door and gave Marco a box of cake mix , witch he gladly accepted. 

Marco grabbed my hand and dragged me into a kitchen. His mom started to stok the fridge as Marco grabbed some stuff for making a cake i assumed. 

He then mustve relized our bags because he stopped when he was opejing a cabnet. He shut it and practically picked me up and carried me down the hall. 

" Mom! Witch room is yours , witch is mine , and with is Jeans?" He called to his mom who was still sorting hings out in the kitchen. 

" Theres only two rooms sorry! You boys will have to share. Its the one on the end of the hall. " 

I looked and saw there really was only three rooms. Two bedrooms and a bathroom. Marco pretended to sigh loud enough so his mom could hear but dragged me to the end room and tossed the his bag on the ground. I tossed mine beside his. He then looked to see if his mom was looking. 

She wasnt. He gently pressed me against a wall. " Hey babe. " he said extremly quietly. " hey. " he kissed me passoniatly but quietly and quick. I loved it. I resisted the urge to blush and saw him wipe away his blush as we left the bedroom we now shared. 

I could get used to living with Marco.


	9. Cake and Gay School.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cake mishaps you could say. And its pretty gay. In some sort of way. " Jean stop trying to rhyme. " but Marco- interuption brought by gay making out - Eh also school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also. Comment. I want feedback on how okay or fruckin terrible this book is.

Marco walks to the kitchen as the last traces of blush distapear off his face. Almost like Deja Vu. ( titan blood distapearing? Get it. Eh? Okay bye ) 

Marcos mom says something while im staring at marcos freckled face and then she quickly rushes out the door.

I give him a questioning look and he give ma a 'duh did you listen dummy?' But then it switched to ' wuv u. ' i laughed. And pokes his nose witch he replied with a giggle. 

He suddenly grabbed my wrist and dragged me and my crutches to the kichen where he finished grabbing ingrediants for that cake. 

\---- 

About 15 minutes and a half baked cake later. 

Marco stares at the timer that has a little less than 5 minutes remaining on it. I stare at his intend gaze and decide to ask a stupid but a little funny question. 

" Are you a clocksexual or something?" I asked him raising my eyebrows sugestivly when he turned to look at me. Then he pushed me so i was sitting on the counted and kissed me. 

" Nope. Im Hella Freakin Gay. " i chuckled as a light blush spred across his freckles and he layed his head on my uninjured knee. 

" Well im MarcoSexual " ( little bit of a LAD refrence there :P if you have read Jeans weird pov )

Marco giggle and jumped when the timer went off. 

I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder as he pulled the cake out. 

" Lets make frosting for it. " he smiled and i nodded , becausw who could honestly say no to that adorable freckle faced boy? ( who would really?) 

He stirred together ingrediants for the frosting. Then he turned around with a spatula in hand and gave me the spatula. Then he grabbed my hand and frosted the cake together. 

When it was fully frosted Marco turned and held the spatula infront of my mouth. I though he wanted me to lick it but then he wiped frosting on my lips and kissed me 

" You taste like cake. " he chirped and then walked away. 

Yes he just literally walked away. He walked away down the hall. I heard him close a door and asummed he was in the bathroom or somethin. 

I licked the frosting left on my lips and cruched over to the couch. Is that a word?

Watefar it is now. 

A few moments later Marco comes back. I dunno what he was doing because i didnt hear a toliet flush and it didnt look like he had something with him. 

" Im tired , im going to go to sleep. " He didnt look me directly in the eyes before walking back down the hallway into our room. I then relized there was only one bed in our room. Would we be sharing a bed? 

I crutched down the hall and gently rolled my knuckles against the hard wood. " Marco, Babe?" I whispered softly. 

" hmm?" 

I pushed the door open a little. " can i come in?" 

" yea. Its your room too. "

I push the door open and step in , closing it behind me. 

" So whats the sleeping arrangement?" I ask him. He rolls over to look at me. Then he scoots back and opens his arms. " what about...?" He giggled softly. 

" Mom wouldnt assume much if i told her i had a Boyfriend. No details on his name yet thou. Plus its normal to share your bed with your best friend in a sleepover so its just a few month long sleepiver with my bestfriend who just happens to be my boyfriend. " 

I nod slightly and slip into the bed next to him. He is shirtless and wearing long heart pants. I kissed his nose and he smiled lightly. 

" Hey Jean. " he whispered. 

" Yeah Marco?" 

" I love you. " 

My face exploded into a blush as i sttutered a reply. " I-i L-lo-ve yo-you to-too. " 

That moment that was more or less sentimental died when Marcos mom entered the apartment and called for us. I got up quick but Marco stayed tangled in the sheets. 

" Ill come to sleep soon. Ill tell her your already in bed. " 

He nodded and cuddled into the inprint i had left. 

I slipped out of the room snd down the hall to the living room entry way. " Hello Mrs. Bott. Marcos already asleep , i was just about to head to sleep myself. " i say. She smiles wsrmly. 

" I got you a air matress. You and Marco can take turns sleeping on it. And-" 

" He told me to just sleep in the bed beside him for now , sence hes already asleep we can start the air matress tommorow. Its loud and i don want to disturb him. " she nodded and set a box in the room before going into her own room for the night. 

I quickly changed into a pair of shorts and no shirt. Then i snuck in and climbed into bed with marco. His shallowish breaths told me he was asleep. So i hugged his chest lightly before turning and falling asleep. 

 

\---- The next morning. 

 

I got up and made myself some breakfast. It was normal other than Marco said he was going to stay home today. I insisted to stay home with him because his mom had already left for work but he declined profusly and kindly. I was about to leave but went down the hall to check once more on him. 

" Baby , im leavin now you sure you dotn want me to stay home with you? " 

" im fine Jean really. Im jus getting used to ... well.. 'this '" he motioned towarss his charred skin. " its okay youve missed to many days go on now. " 

I planted a kiss on his lips before hesitantly leaving. 

 

\-----

 

I watched as Jean walked out of our room. He hesitated multiple times before eventually leaving. 

I sighed in relief. I could be aline for a bit. That boy would go to the ends of the earth for me and id do the same for him. If i was still there with him. 

I waited a few minutes tell he was for sure gone and i was the only one in the apartment. I crept out to the bathroom and locked the door. 

Stripping i stepped into the shower and turned in slightly chilled water. I pulled out my pocket knife amd looked at my legs. 

Down the side and fron and backs of both legs were scars. Scars from my cutting. The doctor talked to me about it but i pushed it off as nothing. Cause thats just what it was. Nothing. I slid the knife across my theighs a few times and washed the blood away. 

Jean couldnt know. Not about this. Atleast not yet. I would tell him later. Or in my note. Witchever came first. 

" Your a ugly beast remember. " i turned to see the dark shadow of myself that followed me everywhere. 

" Jean doesnt think that. " the light that follower me said. I let it control me sometimes. It was what made people believe i was always happy. Even when things went to shit. 

" Hes just using you. He just wants to get in a guys life and rip him apart. Because i can see how it ends now. " Fuck you faggot , im heterosexual. " and he will turn away from you after kicking you in the stomach. What then Marco. What then?" 

" Hey, thats not gonna happen. " 

" What do you know Freckles Jesus!? Just because yor hoky and cant fucing die doesnt mean you can save everybody! " 

" Yes Marco keep running that blade on your skin , next rub it against your neck. And accept your throne. The throne of the devil. If you let me take over then i can give you that masterpiece. " 

" Dont Marco. If you die later for natural cause i can give you who you really are. The lord of heaven and beyond. Everything inbetween. The god if you coukd says. Freckled Jesus. " 

I drained the water and put my ckothes back on. 

As i dried off i saw rhe mix of bloody and clean watee going down the tubs drain. 

\----

I walked up the steps and pushed open the door to the apartment. 

" Marco!?" I called out to the boy and i heard a mumbly grunt sound from out room. He stood thee staring out a window. 

I wrapped my arms around his waist. He didnt move. " Hey babe. " i kissed the crook of his neck. He kissed my cheek. " i gotta go to the doctors today. But im getting a walking boot so no crutches no more. " i smiled against his neck. 

" Thats good. " he said. " Baby are you okay?" He shook his head violently and finally looked at me 

" Yeah, yeah. Just thinkin. " 

" bout what?" 

He hesitated. " school tommorow. " 

I hugged him tight for support. " itll be fine. I gotta go know. Bye babe. " he turned suddenly and wrapped his arms around me. 

" Marc-" i was cut of by his lips enticing mine. We stood there hugging with our lips rythmecly locked for minutes maybe before we pulled away. Gasping but smiling. " Bye. " he said. I kissed his forehead and walked off. 

\---- 

Marco did ,just as he said, go to school the next day. He nervously walked beside me all the way to the school. People stared at him and some even screamed. I punched a kid who tried to touch Marcos skin and asked if he was wearing leather. Another kid asked him "whats the cosplay for?" I slspped thaf kid. 

I just hope Marcos day gets better than this and he doesnt have to deal with it all on his own. I walked him to the office and he didnt even need to explain when they saw him. They knew what happened on the news. 

\-----

 

When the day ended Marco told me nothing. " Marco how did today go?" He shrugged and i brushed it off as it went okayish. " anythimg... exciting?" 

" more exciting than my injurrie. Ha thats hilarious. " his sarcastic goofyness was showing through. Making me forgot about my worry.


	10. Blood In the Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcos been acting strange lately. He kisses me more passonatly. Witch i dont have abything against. But he hasnt been talking much lately but he has been writing a lot in a notebook. He hasnt shown me it yet. I wonder what it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres only going to be one more chapter after this. 
> 
> BUT DONT WORREH. 
> 
> if you like this book enough to read it , there is going to be a squel. :)

Its been almost 2 weeks and Marcos been pretty silent for those 2 weeks of being back at school. Hes not okay but he wont tell me anything. Instead. He keeps writing in a notebook. He wont let me see it either. 

Ive also caught him talking to himself a few times. Or its likr hes talking to a ghost because i only hear what he says not the rest of his conversations. He diesnt talk much during them it seems though. 

But i know someting is gonna haplen soon. Caus Marco keeps saying something about soon and me and some letter. Does he expect a letted from me soon? Or is it a letter to me soon? I dunno.

Our old apartment is still being rebuilt but its getting close to a point that we could move back in. Witch may suck cause we wont live together anymore. I never spoke to my mom really. She called once but it was short. Every night when we move back i wont be able to sleep next to marco. 

Every night whoever is going to sleep on the air bed always waits tell Mrs. Bott is asleep amd then climbs in the bed with the other boy. Usually its me climbing into the bed Marco is laying on. But its fine. 

Marco continueously falls down the stairs still. Its adorable when he groans after he reaher the next floor down. We see Nanaba sometimes too. 

\----

Jeans outside in the kitchen making breakfast. Its a sunday and im dreading what will take place tommorow. Im not feeling okay so i wont be heading to school with Jean. He will go alone , and i dont want him to be hurt. Like me. 

Everybody , both students and teahers and random adults in the streets. They all look at me like im strange and inhuman. They say mean think to me. Terroble things like. 

 

" Fucking nightmare fueled demon. " 

" hell spawn " 

" Scars of satan. " 

Stuff along those lines. Mainly the hell spawn one though. 

I write down a few more notes in the book infront of me. The homework i got on friday laying beside me. No point in doing it if i wont be going to school tommorow anyways. 

I feel like me and jean have grown closer but farther apart at the same time. Nothing makes sence but i love him and i think he loves me. 

" He Cannot Save You Anymore Marco. Hes To Late. " 

I turn and just as expected HE is sitting beside me on the air matress. My angel apears soon after. 

" Marco, you cant. Please dont. " 

" Its too late. Its gone to far. " 

They both knew what i ment. They both knew it was coming. My angel denied it all this time. And my demon forced it further along then need be. 

But one question none of us dared to ask , but were all dyijg to know. 

 

How many people would show up? 

\---------

 

Jeans arms are wrapped tightly around my chest when i wake up. I kiss his hands lightly until he releases me. 

" If i get up you gotta get up to. " he moaned. A pang of guilt and regret flashed through me but i ignored it. 

" I feel dead. Im not gonna school todie. " 

" Babe come onnnnnn. " he groaned into the nape of my neck. The regret burned in mt scars but i pushed it away. 

" Bleh. Death. " i murmmured. He slowly and eventually rolled over and got up. 

" csn i stay and take care of you today then?" 

" No. " i said softly and a little bit to quickly. 

" Whyyyy. " 

" Because ill die if you stay. " he chuckled slightly. " Your such a drama king. " he walked out of the room with a smirk tattoed to his lips. 

The truth was really the oppisite. 

\----

 

I watched Jean walk towards the school bus stop in the heavy rain. Thunder shook the ground and lightning pierced the sky. Like a tatto peorces the skin.

He turned and waved at my figure against the chilled pane. To me everything was pain. I gently waved and i suddenly wanted to open the window and yell at him to come back. But he climbed onto the bus steps and it took him away. 

It was to late now. He wouldnt know anythi g tell he gets home. 

 

" Hellish Mornin aint it Marco?" I turned and he was there waitinf for me. Then my angel showed up soon after. 

" Must you taunt him? He isnt doing well. I need to save him while you try to kill him. Hes on the edge already. If i dont help him know he will be dead why the time Jean gets home!" 

" Jean... tell him im sorry. " i whisper and they both look at me. The angel comes and wraps his arms around me. " Marco just ignore all the rude coments and harrassment about your scars. They dont define you. " 

" Here ya go boyo. " the demon slams a piece of paper and pencil on my desk infront of me. 

I start writing a note and as im writing it my demon says to write faster and my angel begs me to stop because it will get better. 

Then i finish the letter. " Im sorry , and i love you - Marco. " 

I look up and see the demons devilish grin. " Follow me Marco. The time has come. " 

I pushed my chair away from the desk and stood up. " Please. " the angel continued to beg. But in reality i know they were both my coping ways and not really there. 

As i pulled a knife out of the knife block i felt as if id just been pushed over the edge of a cliff. And i felt like id been caught by jean hand but i let go of his hand and i was falling to my death now. 

Thats all i thought as i walked into the bathroom and sat down in the tub. 

" I love you Jean Kirstein. " i yelled. Those were going to be my last words. I had to make them count. 

The angel flew above me 

" Marco! Suicide doesnt prevent things from getting worse! It prevents things from ever getting better. " 

" Scars dont heal. " 

The knife ripped into my skin ,and the blood leaked out. 

\-----

 

RRRRIIIIIINNNNGGG

The bell rang and i walked to my locker. Damn why cant the day be over? I still have one more class today , health. And we are having some sort of Suicide speech? I dunno. But i grab my backpack and jog into class right before the next bell rings. 

RRRRRIIIINNNNGGGG

I sit next to a empty seat. Marcos seat. I hope hes okay and not sick again , last time he was really sick the aparent burned down. Eh bad memories. 

I decide to focus on the conversations around me while waiting for class to start. I hear one in perticular that stands out to me. 

" What about that scarred up boy?" 

" yeah i wonder how hes handeling people being so rude to him. " 

Marcos being bullied? For the scars? 

" I wonder if his entire side is scarred. Like including his-"

" Thomas! Keep your mind out of the gutter. Everybody knows about your gay crush on him. " 

Thomas wagner? He likes my boyfriend? Ewww. 

" Guys, hes not here today... what if he commited suicide ? Is that why we are having this talk?" 

I tuned out. Fuck, if marco was bullid could he have commited suicide? Wait... hes home alone right now. 

" FUCKING HELL SHIT!" I scream standing up so suddenly and falling out of my chair. 

" KIRSTEIN SIT DOWN AND WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT CURSE WORDS. " 

" BUT-" 

" TALK BACK AND YOU STAY AFTER CLASS. " 

i shut up and sat back down as laughter erupted. This wasnt funny. I needed to go check on Marco NOW. 

" Alright class. Attention! We will start with identifying if somebody may be suicidal..." 

I just kept worrying about Marco. Then i heard it. " ... Acting different than hoe they usually do , like usually happy but suddenly emotionless or sad. " 

I pushed myself up out of the chair. Choking on my own breath i ran out of the classroom. I heard a teacher yell at me for rushing out and i heard hem follow me because we had 3 teachers during that hour. 

I ran to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. Catching my breath. I sat down on the floor in a stall and started crying my eyes out. 

Marco has to be okay. He has to be.

There was a hwavy knocking on the stall door. 

" Kirstein. What in the world was that about. " 

" M---m-ar-c-c-co! " i balled. And i tried to wipe my eys but the tears were non stop. 

" Bott? The boy with the scars? What about him. " 

" Hes hes bbbbeen acting ssstrange llllately. And he sstayed hhhome toooday. " 

" and your worried , he may have commited suicide today?" I nodded vigerously even though he couldnt see. 

" do you want me to drive you to his apartment right now just to prove hes okay?" I opens the door and modded , tears still streaming. 

 

I stayed in the hallway as my Mr. Levi talked to another teacher before coming back out. 

He threw my backpaxk at me. " so where does Bott live. " i looked down at him. Hes really short and i stood atleast a foor taller than him. 

" we live in the same apartment with his mom, our old one burned down. " 

" just tell me the address. " 

 

We pull out of the car lot as " Fix you" by coldplay started playing. 

" Tears stream down your face , when you lose something you can not replace. " 

 

\----

 

I charge into the lobby to see Nanaba at the counted like usual. So far so good. Mr.Levi walks in after me. 

" Jean! Hey, why are you home from school already , isnt there like half an hour left? "

" Yeah. But i need to see if Marcos okay. " 

" What would be wrong with him? Hes your perfect boyfriend. " 

Mr. Levi raises a eyebrow but doesnt speak. 

" long story " i say rushing up the stairs. 

Nanaba and Mr. Levi follow me up to the 5th floor. I nearly break the key as i figit with the lock. 

I open the door quickly and call out. 

" Marco!" 

There is no response. Nanaba and Mr.levi walk in. Mr.Levi waits by the door but Nanaba follows me down the hall into me and Marcos room. 

Nothing. I walk into his moms room and i dont know but i hear Nanaba rusltinf throw some papers in my room i guess. 

Nothing in Mrs.Botts room. 

Could he not be home? 

 

Then i see the closed Bathroom door. And i hear Levi call out. 

" Do you usually have a full knife block?" 

" i dunno!" I yell back to him. 

I knock on the bathroom door. No answer. I twist the door nob and open the door slightly. 

 

The lights are on and i see the shower curtain pulled. No clothes or anything on the floor i assumed he must not be in there but i heard something draining. 

I opened the curtain and buckled over , screaming. 

Nanaba and Levi run over. Levi groans because hes a clean freak. Nanaba cries. 

Laying in the is Marco , with a stab in his chest and blood surrounding him. 

 

I mustve blacked out because when i work up there were to notes beside my bed and i was laying in the bed. 

One was short and from Nanaba. 

" Jean- 

Levi called 911 after you fell screaming and blackd out. Its been a day and i found this note from Marco on the desk. And im sorry but hes dead. His funeral will be on saturday. 

\- Nanaba. " 

Hes dead. Hes dead. No no no. I i cant. I pull my phone out and se its thursday. The note from nanaba must have been from Tuesday. 

The second note was longer. 

" Jean - 

Hey. I dont know how to say it all but here it is anyway. None of this is your fault. Other than its your fault you saved me from the fire that day. I dont blame you for the scars. I blame the peopl who made fun of the scars. 

I love you and i am so sorry. I dont want to do this but my world isnt balanced and i have nothing to counter the pain i feel. 

Its not your fault im going to die today. 

I want you to tell my story though. I dont want to see you become a angel with me when you read this letter. Unless i become a demon because i killed myself. 

I dont know. I wont figure it out. But my scars would never heal so i needed to escape. This was my escape. 

Im sorry and i love you - Marco. " 

Tears blurred my eyesight by the time i read his name. 

 

A dark figure that looked like Marco suddenly appeared before me. 

" Hey Jean. Ya know , there is a way to bring him back. " 

He held a knife out to me.


	11. The Gateway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The knife and a gateway. That was all i had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this book. But dont worry ( if you care) it leads right into the second book.

The knife was right there infron of me. I could grab it and stab myself and id be with him. I loved him enough to do that. So should i. 

" Who are yu?" I settled on question instead. Something smart at the least. 

" im the darksid you neverknew your precious boyfriend ever had. " 

" Hes alsays happy. Atleast until the acciddent..."

" And that made him Kill himself. You shir hes always happy now?" 

I had nothing to say. There was nothing to say. 

" Theres a simpl answer to getting him back. " he thrust the knife into my hand. I stared at the shining blade. 

" Will my dad go to my funeral. " i whispered. 

He laughed. " do you even understand why youd dad left. !? " 

" what? How would you know anything. You didnt know him. " 

" i know Jereamiah Kirstein. I went to his wedding. Or atleast Marco did when he was 8. He was the ring barrer. " 

" W-what. " 

" Yeah. Your dad left because he was like you and marco. He is gay jean. He left to marry a man. Your mom is only homophobic because her husband left her for another man. Otherwise she would have accepted you completely. Also Marcos story is on the news , and it talks about you as his boyfriend. " 

" No im not out to my mom yet!" 

" Then escape it all. " 

I look down at the knife in my hand. I touch its tip to the nape of my neck. 

" Will my dad go to my funeral. " 

" Yes jean. He will. I promise. " 

I sliced the knife. 

 

\----

 

I wake up surrounded by darkness. It reminds me of emporers new clothes by P!atd. 

Am i going to be a demon? 

I look before me and suddenly 2 paths open. One going up and the other is a dark straight tunnel. 

A little boy appears infront of me. I remember him well. 

" So this is where you ended up. You dont deserve to be a angel. But you do deserve to be a demon. You deserve to burn in hell. " 

" No. Im sorry. It was a accident i tried to save you i didnt mean for any of us to get hurt and i especially didnt mean for you to die! " i screamed at the little boy. 

" That river current ripped my soul from my body Jean. You shouldnt have made us jump off the bridge into water that day. " 

" im sorry Jason. Im sorry. " 

The little boy that had once been my brother turned away from me. 

" Ya know. Mom has thought youve been dead for a while. She doesnt care. She hates you. She hates you for being Bisexual. She hates you For having a Boyfriend. " 

" Jason. Stop please. Im sorry. Im so so sorry. " 

" Im the one who choses weather you go to hell or not. I chose witch path you deserve to take. Im you decider. " 

" What?" 

" everybody who dies has somebody they once knew as a deciser on weather they are worthy of hell or the sky. I was chosen to decide your fate after i died at my fate was chosen. " his halo and angel wings appeared. 

" Why couldn it be Marco who desides? " 

" Because i was already assigned to you. Because my death is your fault. I am your sin. " 

( seven deadly sins music start playin now ) 

" Jason im sorry!" I yell tears forming in my eyes. 

" But i am your sin. And now you will pay for your sin. " 

He walked over to the gate of the long dark corridor. 

" Jason thats just harsh. " 

" Marco your no fun. " jason pouted and looked up at the gate above. 

There standing with a white wing a dark blue wing scars amd a halo was The freckled boy i loved. 

" Marco!" 

" Hi Jean. " 

Jaso suddenly pushed open the dark gates and a firey wind sucked me toward it. 

My head and bsck fucking burned

Suddenly horns and demonic wings appeard. Then he unexpect was a halo appeared too. 

" A demon wih a halo what the fruck!" Jason screached. I stopped being dragged towards the darkness. The firey wind was gone. 

" why?" I asked nobody in particular. I saw marco kneeling on the floor looking weak. 

" Because im not ready to let you go yet. "


End file.
